im gay
i know
yea but for you.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
