whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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