so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
