I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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