I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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