Kiss
Puke
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
it's great music for shaving your balls
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
