Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
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I need you to use more vowels.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
