I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
