I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Randomize
