Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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