Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
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