Do you still have your period?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
