there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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