they need to just BURY HIM!
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
