i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
