The brown eye won't let me do that either.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
