dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
