Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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