dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
