Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I'm having to shit out rocks
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
