I faked an abortion last night.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
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