i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
