I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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