I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
