Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
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