I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize