So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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