You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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