I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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