I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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