I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
