i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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