I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
