I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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