I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
