I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize