YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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