Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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