Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize