I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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