Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Green mimosas i think yes
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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