Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
