I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
