The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
