Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
God I need to hump something, right now.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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