well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
