I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
