That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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