I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
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