Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
