I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
