Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize