Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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