i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
