wrigley field is MILF paradise
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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