even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
you never un-have a 4some
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
