bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
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