Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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