Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I showed him my bush... on skype.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
