I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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