I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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