Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
