i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
