its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
