i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
