don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
