she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
