i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
True college students do jello shots in the library
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